Yeah I've Cried Those Tears Before…

{March 22, 2011}   Don’t Think Now

Thursday, after having a chat with one of my best friends, she somehow convinced me to go to the doctor.

I called in, hysterically, and got an appointment for an hour and a half later.

I went in and broke down.

I basically told my doctor, while, yelling, screaming, and crying, that I was fed up with my life.  I was fed up with being sick and living the way I was living.

I was fed up with taking a dozen and a half pills per day and only being 25 years old.  Much less, pills that I’m really unsure if they work or not.

I was INSANELY pissed off that he referred me to a pain management specialist two months ago, and I went that day to set up the appointment.  They told me they’d call me back to schedule and they never called me back. Shockingly, 30 minutes after I left the appointment, I got an appointment with the specialist for this coming Thursday!

I told him how livid I was that at one point in my life I had goals in my life.  I wanted a family, I wanted to go college.  I wanted a career.

Now I just want to be able to get out of bed in the morning with minimal amounts of pain and with the ability to function.

He also doubled my dosage of Paxil.

He also told me I need to find a new psychiatrist, one who doesn’t believe that acupuncture is a ‘sure fire’ fix-all!   Which makes me hope he doesn’t refer other patients to this whack-job in the future!

Today was a pretty awesome day, and seemed to make all my sadness dwindle away, even for just one single day.


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